ONLINE RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING & GUIDANCE

---

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

.

  ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET  GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.    BOOKLETS 1-9.

INTRODUCTION AND  PART 1

INTRODUCTION: The Golden Keys to Effective Relationships     “from the perspective of the Soul, Monad( I AM Presence), and Spiritual     Hierarchy. Several major keys for making your relationship work and     additional “golden nuggets.” 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Personality-level relationships function on the premise of     conditional love. Soul and monadic-level     romantic relationships strive to be unconditionally loving at all     times. From the soul and monadic, it     is never acceptable to attack your partner. It is important to be honest,     but this is always done in an unconditionally loving and respectful manner     no matter how bad the misbehavior of your partner is. In truth, each person     is the eternal Self, and all ideally are related to from this vantage     point. 

RELATIONSHIP TO SELF AND GOD. The most important relationship is not     your relationship with your spouse or partner, your children, the ascended     masters, or God. The single most     important factor in your life for making your relationship work is your     relationship with yourself. If you are wrong with yourself, you will be     wrong with God and your partner.

Reflection Question: If you are run by your emotional     body, your inner child, your negative ego, and your subconscious mind, how     can you possibly be right with another person? The second most important relationship in     your life is your relationship with God. If these two relationships aren’t     right, your romantic relationship will have problems.

FORGIVENESS. This includes self-forgiveness and     forgiveness of your partner. As A     Course in Miracles says, “ Forgiveness is the key to happiness.  Lack of forgiveness hurts self-much more     than it hurts others. Everything     that happens in life is a lesson, a challenge, and an opportunity to grow.     Mistakes can be turned into gold by learning from them!

PREFERENCES, NOT ATTACHMENTS. Learn to have preferences     instead of attachments and addictions in your relationships. Buddha said     that all suffering comes from attachments.  A preference is the attitude that if you     don’t get what you seek, you are still happy. With attachments and addictions, if you     don’t get what you want, you lose your happiness and inner peace and     usually, you get upset and angry. These negative emotions are caused by one’s own faulty attitude. 

PAGE 1

SELF-ACTUALIZATION. Learn to develop centered, whole     relationships and not father/daughter, mother/son relationships.

When each one is     right with self and right with God, the couple bonds as two actualized,     independent people. When one is not right with oneself or right with God,     one ends up seeking wholeness in another person instead of within one’s own     being. 

COMMUNICATION. What may be the most important key of all     is communication. Virginia Satir, the famous marriage/family counselor,     said, “ Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to living.”  Where the lines of communication are not     open, the relationship is doomed to failure. When the lines of communication are open,     anything can be worked out. 

COMMITMENT. Being     committed is keeping one’s spiritual vows to your partner on all     levels. Commitment deals with     holding up your end of the partnership on all levels. It is a commitment to love and help your     partner as well as yourself to become actualized to your highest potential.

THE NEED TO BE RIGHT. The key question is always, “ Do you want harmony, or do you want to     be right?” The need to be right is     run by the negative ego. Set the     example of admitting you are wrong and have made mistakes. This example will inspire your partner to     do the same, and even if it doesn’t, you are doing it for yourself and God     anyway. 

COMMUNICATING THROUGH THE EGO. Never communicate when you     are caught up by your negative ego or in excessive anger. Make this agreement with your     partner. When the negative ego is     engaged, you are not right with yourself or right with God. In this mode,     communication will only end up hurting and Scarring your partner. You will     end up feeling guilty later for what you said when you were too overidentified     WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL BODY. It would     be better to go off by yourself and cool down, meditate and journal. It is always better to communicate     about heavy things in a calm, rational, loving manner.  

ANGER. Anger is ego, and don’t be deluded into thinking it isn’t. when your buttons get pushed and anger     arises, it can be dealt with in your relationship in one of two ways. One is intrapsychic method is to resolve     the issue in your mind or journal and/or do attitudinal healing work.     Catharsis on occasion may be also appropriate.      

BOOK:  ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

SOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PART 1, PAGES 4 & 5.

PAGE 4

PUTTING YOUR SPIRITUAL PATH FIRST CONT. PART 2

they began to let go of it. We must all put our relationship on the     altar before God and our spiritual path. If we don’t, life will bring us     challenges in an attempt to get us to straighten out our misaligned priorities. 

INVULNERABILITY. This is one of the most important qualities to develop to make your     own relationship work. It is the     understanding that you create your own reality and your own emotions. Neither your partner nor anyone else     causes these. Just because you are married or in a committed relationship     doesn’t mean that the relationship or marriage causes your emotions. The development of invulnerability means     that no outside person or situation can take away your inner peace and joy     unless you choose to allow this to happen.

Every person is emotionally vulnerable in this     regard. We much each develop a     strong psychological immune system. When your partner is irritable, moody     or angry, you don’t have to take on his or her emotional state. Have     compassion but do not allow yourself to absorb his/her emotions. Your job     is to stay centered and help to bring your partner up, rather than allow     him/her to bring you down.

The same applies to feelings of sadness, depression and     grief. You can try to help where this is appropriate. But these are your partner’s emotions,     not yours. 

When it is aimed at you, you can choose to practice     humility and turn the other cheek. Or you can communicate your spiritual     observations to your partner in a loving way and your preference that they     not do this. As A Course in Miracles     says, “ An attack is a call for love.” Defensiveness and retaliation are     not appropriate responses. The ideal     romantic relationship deals with the transcendence of the negative ego.

MAINTAINING THE ROMANCE.  There is a common belief that there is     an inevitable loss of romance in all marriages. “ This is not true. the romance, the     passion, the spark, can be kept going indefinitely. However, to achieve this takes conscious     work so that bad habits are not allowed to grow like weeds in your     relationship garden. When issues of     having children, money pressures or job pressures enter in, even more consciousness     is needed so that the spark of romance is not diminished.

PAGE 5

MAINTAINING   THE ROMANCE CONT.PART 2

In the relationship, it is often the little things that   make all the difference, such as writing little loving notes, making a loving   phone call, bringing flowers or buying a little gift for no special reason   and creating special times for romantic intimacy, creating a date night,   meditate together or go for a walk. 

Creating a time once a week for taking care of business,   both personal and work-related, works well. To maintain romance, one must become a master of priorities and time   management. In the busy life of modern   society, all lessons of life must be appropriately balanced. The romance   factor must not be put on the bottom of the priority list. 

SEXUALITY. What is   crucial here is to create the time for this important part of your   relationship. Each couple will differ in terms of what this means. Couples   must find a selfish/selfless balance in terms of the sexual relationship so   that both partner’s needs are met. Often relationships get into sexual habits   and ruts that become rather unexciting after a while, and both parties must   be willing to experiment a little and, perhaps, take chances. Both must ask   for what they want and be willing to teach their partner. It is essential that both parties be   willing to initiate sexual involvement, for this should not be only the man’s   job. Both partners should try to serve   one another’s needs first while enjoying the sexual interaction.   Communication in this area, as in all areas of life, is the key.

It is suggested that couples not go more than three months   without sexual contact, for there is a certain kind of bonding and connection   that needs to be maintained.

This is not to say that couples should not have sex as much   as they want. It is trying to show here an extreme in couples who are not   sexually focused. With sexuality, as with all things, balance, moderation and   integration in other areas of one’s life must be maintained. It is another   form of communication and an expression of love. Sexual expression is   appropriate when it serves the higher self and not the lower or carnal   self. Sexuality is appropriate when it   is loving, supportive, and pleasurable to both partners. Sexuality is   appropriate in terms of that which creates intimacy and love. 

PARTS 8 & 9  ONLINE RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING & GUIDANCE CONTINUE HERE DUE TO A LACK OF SPACE .

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PH.D., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

RANDOM ACTS. Keep surprising your spouse/partner with     random acts of kindness, love and small gifts. If you make up your mind that you are     going to cultivate and maintain love, it will happen. If it doesn’t, you are with the wrong     partner. Listen closely to the things your spouse/partner says to you. For     example, you might be walking in the mall and he or she might innocently     comment about wanting something, not really thinking he/she will ever get     it. Make a note to yourself, and at some appropriate occasion get it for     him//her. Doing such things shows that you care, that you are listening to     him/her, that what he/she wants is important to you. If you try, this will     inspire your spouse to try. This     demonstrates that with all the lessons and stresses of life, you are not     forgetting him/her.

COMPLIMENTS. Tell     your spouse/partner how nice he/she looks when she gets dressed up-and, for     that matter, anytime you feel inspired. Make a habit of complimenting     her/him. Everyone likes a compliment. Make it your job to help him/her     build self-esteem and feeling of self-love. Don’t be afraid to spoil your     partner a little.  

ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Be sure to ask your partner for what you     want. In other words, you are doing     all these nice things for them, and there may be things you would like them     to do for you. One of the most     important principles of an effective relationship is to ask. You can be asked to be touched more. You can ask for more expressions of     appreciation. State your request as a loving preference. Ask and you shall     receive. When you are being so nice to your partner/spouse, he/she will     respond in kind. 

Most couples receive what they are given instead of     seeing that by asking, they can stimulate the giving process. You are not attached, so if they don’t do     what you ask, you are still happy. If it is given, it will be given to your     freely out of their own free choice. Your lack of manipulation in terms of the way you state it, and your     lack of neediness, breed love. People do not like to give to people who are     clinging vines. They do like to give     to people who are strong and loving and clear.

Your positive demonstration and your clear, preferential     requests for what you want will create and build a flow of love energy that     fills you fully. Your giving will     fill you full of love, and the reciprocation from your partner, both     spontaneously and by your asking, will fill you full of love. 

PART 8: PAGE 1

ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT CONT. PT. 2

Reflection Question: Do you see how in life everything is a matter of just making     adjustments? Keep making adjustments in your relationship by demonstrating     love and asking for what you want until your romantic relationships comes     perfectly back into the tao.

THE TOP OF YOUR PRIORITY LIST. Tell your spouse/partner that he/she is     at the top of your priority page right next to being right with yourself     and right with God and that you will be demonstrating this by your actions     from now on. Ask her or him to join     you in this commitment.

REPEATING YOUR MARRIAGE/COMMITMENT VOWS. Consider     repeating your marriage or relationship commitment vows. This can be a     private ceremony you do yourself or a spiritual marriage or partner     ceremony with a minister or rabbi. This ceremony will be the rebirth or     renewal of your marriage vows in the light of the Christ     consciousness. It will be a     commitment to demonstrate a soul/monadic -level or ascended-master romantic     relationship. 

USING THIS BOOK TOGETHER. This golden key may be one of the most important of all. Ask your     partner to read this book as a personal favor to you. Go through these     golden keys and make a checklist of the ones you want to practice. Then     hang it on your bulletin board and go over it every morning for minute or two. Maybe you can even read the book together     and discuss the keys as you read. (Book: Ascension and Romantic Relationships by Joshua David Stone,     PH.D. & Rev. Janna Shelley Parker).

BALANCING POWER WITH SENSITIVITY. Demonstrate a balance between personal     power and sensitivity and keep your ideal a masculine/feminine     balance. This applies to both men     and women. A woman likes a man who     is strong, but one who can also be very loving and sensitive. This     combination is the greatest sexual aphrodisiac. A woman who is loving and sensitive but     not in touch with her power tends to be childlike. This can be a turn-on and attractive for     a little while, but eventually gets old. A man who is strong but not     sensitive cannot connect on an intimate level. A man who is sensitive but     has no power is also a turn-off.

OPENNESS WITH POWER/SENSITIVITY. One of the golden keys in romantic     involvements was to be powerful in romantic and sexual advances. Always be     sensitive, but if you want to kiss a woman do not be shy about 

PART 8: PAGE 2

OPENNESS WITH POWER/SENSITIVITY CONT. PT.2

If you want to make love to a woman tell her. Women like this. Speaking from a man’s     perspective, men like this openness and expression of personal power ( with     sensitivity) as well. 

EXPERIMENTATION.  This applies to the dating process as well     as marriage. Dating is clearly an experiment of sorts. You go out with someone you don’t know     very well. You are checking things out. Don’t be afraid to experiment. In other words, touch the other person on the hand or leg while     conversing and see how that makes you feel and how it makes them. As you get to know him/her better, you     might experiment and kiss them, just to see how it feels. Be powerful about it. Look at it as an experiment. Ask him/her     to dance and see how that feels. People are often too shy and sensitive to     do this. If you wait until you feel like it or when it or when it feels     totally comfortable, it might never happen. Sometimes such an experiment     might not work, but that is good information.

This concept of experimentation also applies sexually,     when if you get to this point. In a committed relationship and marriage, be     willing to experiment. Get some of the sex manuals or books on tantric     sexuality and try some of the different positions and tantric     meditations. When you are through,     talk about it with your partner. What did you like and what didn’t you     like? Make mental notes about what worked and what didn’t. Over time you will build up a rich     arsenal of lovemaking knowledge. Your partner wants to be sexually fulfilled as much as you do. If     you think of this process as experimenting, there is no judgment when     something doesn’t work. The most important thing is that you communicate     with each other to monitor what is working and what is not both partners.

INDEPENDENCE VS. NEEDINESS. Don’t fall into neediness, dependency and     clinging-vine mentality. Both should     make it clear that they are fully capable of being on their own if they     have to, though this is not their preference. Knowing that your partner can     make it on his/her own without you and you without him or her makes both     partners be on their toes and not take the other for granted. It also     prevents the resentment that comes from overdependence. 

COMPROMISE. Sometimes in a relationships, you have to do things you don’t want     to do, but you can accept them and have a positive attitude 

PART 8: PAGE 3

COMPROMISE CONT. PT. 2

You might have to go   over to the in-laws for Christmas dinner and perhaps you don’t feel like it.   Forget about your feelings-feelings are not your god. The Yiddish word,   mensch, is good here. A mensch is a good person or solid citizen who always   does what is right. sometimes what it right is something you don’t feel like   doing. Your spouse/partner might want to go on vacation and you really don’t   want to. At some point you will   probably feel it is best to just bite the bullet and go.

Once you make the choice to meet a specific need of your   partner, keep a positive attitude and have a good time. Feelings are often created by the negative   ego with its selfish perspective. Being in a relationship involves   compromise. You can’t always do   exactly what you want. If you are not willing to do what your partner wants   to do at least part of the time, you have no business being in a   relationship. Maybe a single life is best for you.

SHARING PERSONAL FEELINGS AND SECRETS. In our society men are often taught to be   silent, to be macho and never cry. Women are trained to be the exact the opposite. they love to share   feelings and their innermost secrets. Men   clearly need to open up more. Women, on the other hand, often need more   masculine energy in terms of learning to be more impersonal and having a   greater mastery of their emotions and desires bodies. 

In terms of relationships, there need to be an open flow of   sharing one’s inner reality. What is   the purpose of a relationship if you are not willing to do this? This is the main reason for having a   full-time romantic partner. He/she is is someone with whom you can share your   deepest feelings and thoughts and feel safe in doing so. This builds intimacy and closeness. Men   need to let down their barriers and do this more. Women are good teachers   here.

STANDARDS OF BEAUTY. Both men and women should let go og societal norms about beauty.   Physical beauty is not what Playboy magazine and our media make it out to be.    So beauty is in the eye of the   beholder. It is very important for   both men and women-for themselves and their relationship-to let of society’s   standards of glamour and beauty.

PART 8: PAGE 4

CONSIDERATION. There is a great need to be thoughtful and considerate. So much in a     relationship has to do with transcending selfishness. If you are going to     run an errand, ask your spouse if there is anything he/she needs. The     little things you can do for each other are endless, so be creative and     inventive.

Act like a gentlemen and a gentlewoman. When one is first dating, we all act like     perfect gentlepeople. After marriage/committed relationship, we let     go of many of these noble qualities. The list is endless here too, such as opening the car door for your     wife, helping her on with her coat and lifting heavier objects. Some may     call this sexist; we call it being     considerate. In the reverse, there     are little things women can do in a more feminine frame of reference. It     may have to do with cooking and serving meals or creating a lovely home,     bringing her husband his slippers, unfolding or making the bed. Some of     these may seem like silly examples, but it is a principle here that is     important.

DIVIDING CHORES. Everyone has certain chores they hate and certain chores they don’t     mind. Be creative. Work out a fair     division of responsibilities that both people are comfortable with. 

SPIRITUAL TESTS. Every conflict you overcome in your relationship/marriage deepens     and strengthens the bond. Every fight and conflict is a spiritual test of     your love for each other. Do not     bail out of a relationship at the first spiritual test. Bailing out is     easy. Hanging in there and processing all lessons is the true test of     maturity in a relationship.

FREQUENCY OF SEX. There is no hard, fast rule about the frequency of sexual     involvement. Some people have a     higher libido than others. There are     other factors such as one’s spiritual focus, priorities, job stress, level     of physical health. Obviously, when you first become deeply involved, your     desire for sexual contact will be relatively high, and this is appropriate     for the bonding process. The frequency will also change during different     phases of the marriage. Some compromise may be needed. It is also possible to have sexual     involvement without either one having an orgasm. In some sexual involvement     the man or the woman might not feel like having an orgasm but can still     pleasure the partner. As long as     this doesn’t become a regular habit, this is appropriate. In a christed relationship, your     partner’s needs are just as important, or even more important,than your     own. Great pleasure is received from meeting your partner’s needs.

PART 8: PAGE 5

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PART 2: PAGES 2 & 3.

RELATIONSHIP AS     SPIRITUAL TRAINING CONT. PART 2.

Parts of ourselves. If, in every relationship and     friendship, these are owned and integrated through allowing oneself to     learn from that person, over time enormous wholeness is achieved. This is also why those with a diverse     relationship history have the opportunity for great learning and growth.     Each relationship and friendship is like a spiritual workshop.

TRUST. Trust is a key component of every healthy     relationship. If trust is broken in     a relationship, the chances of that relationship working are greatly     decreased. This is why issues such as adultery are so serious. Having an     affair breaks the bond of trust, and it is often impossible to get back.

In counseling practice, a relationship contract might be     used, a new set of personal and spiritual vows, with God and the masters     serving as witnesses when appropriate. The spiritual contract serves as a     vehicle to reestablish the trust factor. New commitments are written out on     paper. In reality, it can be like a new spiritual marriage contract. 

UNDERSTANDING YOUR TYPES. The four-body system regarding     relationships in which one is the emotional type and the other the more     mental type. This can also be seen     in the heavenly and earthly balance. Usually, one person is a little more     heavenly, spiritual, or etheric and the other more grounded and     earthly. This, of course,     encompasses the fire, air, Earth, and water types, or mental, emotional,     intuitive, and sensation function types. 

Spiritual Practice Exercise: It is a helpful exercise to look at your     type and tendency and then see your partner’s. It is extremely important not to get     locked into your particular lens and to be open to learning from your     partner’s lens. The ideal is to     strive for the greatest possible sense of wholeness. This is a great     strength, and it increases in magnitude when having a partner. There is a greater sense of wholeness     present when our relationship tendencies are understood and integrated with     our partner’s. Over time both partners become more whole in the     process. 

EGO BATTLES. What     do you do when ego battles take place? This occurs in every relationship at     times, and no one should be ashamed of this.

One tool that may be extremely effective. Spiritual Practice Exercise: 

The couples should sit down and do a short meditation to     connect with our 

PART 2: PAGE 3

EGO BATTLES-SPIRITUAL PRACTICE EXERCISE(S)  CONT. PT 2

Monads/Godself/Higher Self. Hold hands and do this and     totally connect to spirit. Then     begin talking from your Spiritual connection to this higher place.

Another method would be to read some passages from sacred     scriptures. The attainment of spirit     is what helps transcend the negative ego. One might also call the Holy     Spirit for help, for the Holy Spirit is the answer to all delusions of the     negative ego. These techniques are     strongly recommended. Whenever something heavy or difficult comes up, both     individuals should do this. 

STAYING CURRENT. Don’t let things build up too much. It must be understood here that it is possible to communicate too     little and it is not possible to communicate too much. Couples who spend all their time     processing may not know how to let go of things and have fun. Sometimes     simply enjoying each other is the best medicine. The reverse of this is holding things in     too much, which may cause the Mt. Vesuvius method of communication- the     volcanic eruption. Couples need to learn to stay on top of things.

A good piece of wisdom for couples is to never allow     yourself to go to bed angry. Communicate and try to clear things before     going to sleep.

FEEDBACK. Feedback should only be given if it is asked     for. It is not your job to point out     all of your partner’s lessons. It is     very important that both partners understand and respect this right. The same is true at the psychological     level. For example, if you are a     psychologist and spiritual teacher by trade, do not feel that you need to     be this in your relationships. Lightworkers should be much more concerned with working on     themselves than working on their partners.

THE HOMEMAKER ROLE. The homemaker in a relationship is     usually the woman, but sometimes these roles are reversed. It must be understood from a spiritual     perspective that being a homemaker and/or raising children is one of the     most noble of all professions. The homemaker ( woman/man) in truth, is the     guru and spiritual teacher for the children. What could be more noble than     this? Everything is energy, and one     profession or form of work is no better than another. In every relationship, there must be an     equal exchange of energy. How this works out in form does not matter.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART 3   INTRODUCTION 

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

.

DIFFERENCES OF OPINION. Differing opinions and perceptions are inevitable and appropriate in     all relationships. When this happens     in your relationship, it is important to honor your partner’s opinion and     perception as well as your own. The key is to agree to disagree without     creating any separation.

When the negative ego is involved, differences of opinion     lead to arguments and separation. Make     it okay for you not to be clones of each other. This leads to a win-win in     all situations, never a win-lose. 

It leads to an “I’m okay, you’re okay” philosophy and a     philosophy of diversity within unity. The attitude in your relationship should be love and oneness at all     times. 

In reality, the whole purpose of the relationship has     been to serve as a forum in which you practice staying in love and oneness.     To test your abilities to remain in Christ consciousness rather than     negative ego consciousness. 

LISTENING. It is     absolutely essential to learn to listen to your partner before needing to     come up with your own opinions and thoughts on the issues you are dealing     with.

The lesson here is truly to listen and hear what your     partner has to say. Listening has a lot to do with caring. Never forget your partner is God visiting     you in physical form. Aren’t you interested in what God has to say? 

You are also God visiting your partner in physical form,     and that is why you need to be true to yourself. This is why you must     listen and have compassion as well as follow the adage, “ Above all else to     thine own self be true.”

BAD MOODS. If you     don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything. If you are in a     bad mood, explain this to your partner and try not to take it out on     him/her. If you are not right with yourself, take some space. If you want     help from your partner, ask for what you want, be it a hug, being held or     whatever.

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

.

DIFFERENCES OF OPINION. Differing opinions and perceptions are inevitable and appropriate in     all relationships. When this happens     in your relationship, it is important to honor your partner’s opinion and     perception as well as your own. The key is to agree to disagree without     creating any separation.

When the negative ego is involved, differences of opinion     lead to arguments and separation. Make     it okay for you not to be clones of each other. This leads to a win-win in     all situations, never a win-lose. 

It leads to an “I’m okay, you’re okay” philosophy and a     philosophy of diversity within unity. The attitude in your relationship should be love and oneness at all     times. 

In reality, the whole purpose of the relationship has     been to serve as a forum in which you practice staying in love and oneness.     To test your abilities to remain in Christ consciousness rather than     negative ego consciousness. 

LISTENING. It is     absolutely essential to learn to listen to your partner before needing to     come up with your own opinions and thoughts on the issues you are dealing     with.

The lesson here is truly to listen and hear what your     partner has to say. Listening has a lot to do with caring. Never forget your partner is God visiting     you in physical form. Aren’t you interested in what God has to say? 

You are also God visiting your partner in physical form,     and that is why you need to be true to yourself. This is why you must     listen and have compassion as well as follow the adage, “ Above all else to     thine own self be true.”

BAD MOODS. If you     don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything. If you are in a     bad mood, explain this to your partner and try not to take it out on     him/her. If you are not right with yourself, take some space. If you want     help from your partner, ask for what you want, be it a hug, being held or     whatever.

PART 3  PAGE 1

THE OPPOSITE SEX. Each man and woman is a God and     Goddess. The Spirit should be acknowledged     first, and then the physical beauty can be enjoyed and appreciated. Seeing     Spirit first and then the physical beauty can be enjoyed and appreciated.     Seeing Spirit first is the great equalizer. It keeps the heart and crown     open. It acknowledges each person as     God regardless of the attractiveness or unattractiveness of the physical     vehicle.

It is important not to lust after another     or commit adultery mentally, for it is as bad to think it as to do it. From a spiritual orientation, sexual     fantasy must be watched and monitored very closely, for as you know,     everything we think and visualize affects the other person.

To commit adultery in your mind is not     right.

Consistency of Commitment must be     maintained on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Ascended Master Djwhal Khul has said that     pornography is of the lower self and negative ego, and as you evolve, it is     transcended.

THE SEXUAL     BOND. Understand that every sexual     union and sharing of fluids between two people creates a bond for life that     cannot be broken. It can be broken in a psychological sense, but not in a     spiritual sense. The sharing of fluids in this matter creates a cord of     energy that connects you with that person. This is one of the reasons why the masters teach the example of     creating sacredness in the expression of sexuality.  Do not judge yourself about this. Be a     light & not victimized by these cords.

JEALOUSY. Stems     from not being right with oneself. It stems from the contamination of insecurity within oneself, which     leads to feelings of ownership of another and competition with known or     unknown competitors.

It also demonstrates a lack of trust. Jealousy is a     psychological cancer and should be exterminated. It does not exist in     people who bond completely from the Christ consciousness. There is no judgment if it arises; it is     simply a sign that attitudinal healing is needed within oneself and in the     relationship. 

LETTING GO. “Love     develops from letting go, not from holding on.” “Holding to tightly to love     kills it. Preferences should be stated and then let go of. If something is meant to be, it will come     back to you, and if it is not meant to be, then let it go. A bond based on     this truth is the most powerful and long-lasting, for it is free of all     coercion. 

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PAGES 4 & 5  

PART 3

PAGE 4

SEXUAL STEREOTYPES. Let go of masculine and feminine stereotypes in your relationship.     Women, of course, have been typed as emotional, passive, receptive,     intuitive and nonassertive. Men are     meant to be more macho, stoic, assertive, goal-oriented and mental. This must all be let go of because it is     part of the old patterning that is ingrained in the consciousness of     humanity. Men and women are different-that is a fact. To think that they     are exactly the same is an illusion. But our goal is to blend, in a     balanced way, the inner male and female. This is one of the keys to the     ascension process. 

MONEY. One of the     best ways to deal with money, if this is truly a life-mate relationship, is     to pool the money. Each person could     have a separate bank account if needed or money could be drawn out of one     account. Usually one is person is     better at dealing with money than the other. There is nothing wrong with this.     However, both people should have a working knowledge of finances. 

It is suggested a business meeting or financial meeting     once a week, or at least once a month, to go over everything. It is recommended setting up a budget on     paper together. Some couples have separate money and separate bank     accounts. We are not saying that this is wrong, but it is a statement and     symbol about the relationship. Its     meaning should be examined very closely. 

The next thing that comes to mind is the legal financial     agreement called a prenuptial agreement. This is nothing I would personally be involved with, for it seems to     start the relationship off on a bad note. I would not say it is inherently wrong. In some cases, this might be     a consideration. If someone has had many divorces and is not good at     romantic relationships, this might need to be considered. 

CAUSES OF DIVORCE. There are many reasons why people get divorced so much in our     society. 

The first reason is that people often get married at a     very young age, before they have had a chance to develop themselves and get     right with both themselves and God. Young people often get married before they have really opened to     their spiritual life. Without the     proper integration of spiritual life, romantic relationships are destined     for a very rocky road.

First marriages are often personality-level marriages and     not soul marriages.

PART 3  PAGE 5

CAUSES OF DIVORCE CONT. PT 2

In regards to young marriages, most young people have not     learned to properly parent their own inner child. They have not learned to control their     negative ego or master their emotions and desires. Nor have they learned to control and     reprogram the subconscious mind or to even think properly. Reflection Question: How can a romantic     relationship work effectively if these lessons are not mastered to some     degree?

The Second Reason for divorce is that marriage is hard,     and it takes a lot of work and psychological and spiritual development to     make a harmonious union.

The Third Reason is the effect that children, financial     pressures, work pressures and the stresses of modern-day society have on     the relationship. We live in a complex society where it is hard to balance     everything.

The Fourth Reason for so many failed marriages is that we     are not trained to make a romantic relationship work. We are not taught in school or church the     principles of being right with oneself, God and our human relationships.     The result is that people go into marriage completely ill-equipped to deal     with all the lessons that come down the pike.

The Fifth Reason is that people often get married out of     emotional impulse and the honeymoon syndrome without really knowing the     person. They don’t spend enough time dating or possibly living together to     see how things work once the honeymoon is over.

The Sixth Reason is that people change. Not all people     are meant to be together forever. Each 

The Speed at Which Evolution is moving now also impacts     the above. Humanity is going through     a period of what can only be called hypertime. The process of change and     transformation is so speeded up that this planet will go through more     growth in the 40-year period from 1988 to the year 2028 than in the past     3.1 billion years. Most people are ill-equipped to deal psychologically     with this time warp. 

Divorce is not a bad thing. Sometimes it is the best     thing in a particular situation. whether it is positive or negative really     depends on each relationship and the psychodynamics involved.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART 4: PAGES  2  & 3 

PART  4 : PAGE 2    

REJECTION CONT. PT     2

Want things and might more appropriately call this needing things. There might be a far better person for     you just around the corner if you can surrender to God’s wisdom in the     matter.

BREAKING UP.  When relationships do break up, end them     with total love, forgiveness and nonjudgment. If you don’t, you will have to     reincarnate with that person or another like that one in a future     life. If you forgive and end in     unconditional love and your partner doesn’t, you are freed from the karma,     but your partner who is holding a grudge will have to reincarnate in a future life with someone similar to you     who did not learn the lesson. You     only have to learn your own lessons.

ATTACKS AND HURT     FEELINGS. When dealing with feelings of being hurt, it is important to     understand that in truth you cannot be hurt, for you are God, and you cause     your own reality and your own emotions. You are not a victim. So be     clear that your partner did not hurt you. You hurt yourself by allowing his/her attack to penetrate your     emotional field and body. As we     become grounded in this understanding when our partners or others attack     us, we will see it with more detachment and the attack will not push our     buttons. We will see that it is     their stuff, and we will not take it personally. We will have a strong psychological     immune system. We will recognize that an attack is a call for love.

We will respond instead of react. We will not catch their psychological     disease. If we get hurt and defensive, we have caught the disease. Djwhal     Khul has referred to the need for divine indifference. Other schools of     spiritual thought have referred to this as detached objectivity, or being     the witness. In this state, when our     partner is attacking us, we are able to observe the situation as if it were     a movie and are not engaged by or reactive to what is happening. This is the consciousness of living in the     eternal self.

When we do respond, it is then in a loving, even-minded     way. The appropriate response might     be, “ I see that you are angry, and I would be happy to discuss this     situation with you. However, it is     my preference to do this in a loving manner. Once your partner realizes that he/she is     angry or in attack mode, he is then likely to calm down. If he/she doesn’t, you should and politely and loving remove     yourself from the 

PART 4 PAGE 3

ATTACKS AND HURT FEELINGS CONT. PT 2

conversation. Set the boundary that you will engage only     in a loving and respectful conversation. Since you are responding in a     loving way and not counterattacking, you will have learned your lesson, and     you are setting an example for the relationship. You are here to set a     Christ-like example.

GRIEF. When a loved one dies, grief is normal and     appropriate. It can also apply to the death of a relationship. What is     important to consider here is that the degree of one’s grief and the length     of one’s grieving process will be determined by the nature of the bonding     pattern and the degree of spiritual enlightenment. If one is codependent rather than in a     healthy interdependent relationship, the grieving process will be far more     intense.

If the one who has lost a partner does not believe in God     or in an afterlife and reincarnation, then the grieving process will be     more painful. In India, when people     die they celebrate, for everyone realizes the soul has been freed and that     there is no such thing as death. You     view things from a much different vantage point when you realize that the     person who has died is alive and attending the funeral and that they have     simply changed dimensions.

This eases the emotional sense of loss, for in reality     there is none. All that one is     really grieving for is the loss of the physical vehicle. You will see the person again in dreams,     meditation and when you make your transition, if the love bond is truly     there.

In appropriate grieving, you honor the person you shared     so much time with and you miss their presence on the physical plane, even     though you feel and know their presence spiritually, mentally, etherically     and emotionally. Some may be so filled with the spiritual reality of the     presence of the person that they may not grieve at all. Others will grieve for a short period. In     a sense one is really grieving for oneself, not the other person. 

The other person is probably extremely happy to have gone     through the tunnel and merged with the light, and that person will be     waiting for you to join him/her when your mission is over. Love is the     strongest force in the universe, and all loved ones will be seen again if     that is your desire. We are all immortal and eternal beings regardless of     our level of evolution.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART   5    INTRODUCTION &  PAGE 1

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PHD., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

JOURNAL WRITING FOR CLARIFICATION. Journal write about the rocky areas in     your relationship before you talk about them. Be clear in yourself and your     relationship with God first, then communicate and share with your partner. 

PUNCTUALITY. Often     one partner is very punctual and the other runs on a nonlinear time clock,     to put it politely. One should     never make a commitment on any level that one does not plan to keep. If you don’t like to keep commitments,     don’t make them in the first place. Punctual people need to be a little     more flexible and patient as long as the basic time commitment is kept. Those who do not do well with time     commitments must allow plenty tie to prepare for them. It is important to remember that other people     are involved, not just yourself. Once the pattern is perceived this way,     appropriate adjustments and communication need to be made so that this is     not a recurring conflict.

THE RELATIONSHIP FUNCTION. People who have been single for a long     time or who grew up with parents who were quite dysfunctional in their     relationships often have not developed a relationship function. For example, when making social plans,     part of having a relationship function is to ask your partner first. Having     a relationship function includes calling when you are running late,     communicating that you are in a bad mood instead of taking it out on your     partner and remembering birthdays and other special occasions.

Often people get married but are still living two single     people. Developing a relationship     function has to do with recognizing that you are now living as a team in a     group body as well as living as an individual. This group body must be     considered in all your major decisions.

VIOLENCE. In a nutshell,     neither psychic nor physical violence is acceptable, period. It should never be tolerated. It should     be clearly stated in the beginning of the relationship that violence of any     kind is unacceptable and that if it occurs, it is immediately grounds for     terminating the relationship. If a     partner cannot learn this lesson, then out of self-respect you need to     leave or separate. Violence (verbal)     in any form is unacceptable because unconditional love and respect need to     be the guiding principles of every relationship. 

STAYING PRESENT. Watch that you don’t go on automatic     pilot. It is 

PAGE 1

STAYING PRESENT. CONT. PT.2

Important to remain vigilant for God and God’s     Kingdom. It is easy to let down and     sometimes say things you don’t really mean out of mental fatigue or just     running off at the mouth. A true     master remains vigilant at all times and never lets down, even for an     instant, his or her attunement to God in thought, word and deed. God and the ascended masters hear and     watch everything, and everything is written into the soul records. 

SHORT VACATIONS. It is important to take a romantic     vacation every once in a while, even if it is just for the weekend. This will do wonders for a relationship.     It is often hard to maintain the spark, romance and passion in the daily     grind of Earth life. Even, and     especially, when you have children, short vacations away need to be     arranged.

MONEY PROBLEMS. Money problems are lessons so work together to solve them. Pray     together every day and do affirmations and visualizations together. The     burden is easier to carry if two carry it rather than one. Each person may have different     responsibilities in turning the lessons around, but the feeling of teamwork     will be of great help.

GIVING UP TOO QUICKLY. Some people are often quick to talk about breaking up at the first     sign of an argument or disagreement. This is childish and should be stopped     if you have this pattern. Make an     agreement and a spiritual vow not to speak of breaking up unless you really     mean it, and it should be only after all other options have been attempted.     It is amazing how a simple agreement like this can sometimes make an     enormous difference in the relationship.

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS. Don’t fall into the pattern of self-righteousness. It is always important to speak in “I”     messages, such as “I feel” or “I think” and not to speak for another. It is     also essential to state everything as your personal opinion or perception     instead of self-righteously stating that this is the way it is. Every     person is entitled to his/her personal opinion about things even if is an     ignorant or unconscious one. To be     self-righteous is to not allow people to have their own beliefs and     opinions. Often the things we are     self-righteous about tend to be wrong in the future, and then eat crow. As     the biblical proverb says, “pride goeth before …a fall” (Prov. 16:18). It     is always better to state everything as your personal opinion, perception,     observation, or preference.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART 5:  INTRODUCTION & PAGE  1 

PART 5: PAGES  4  &  5

PAGE    4

AFFECTION CONT. PT. 2

Sometimes in marriages we lose things that were important     to us in the beginning. If the daily expression of affection is one of     those things, now is a good time to begin expressing more affection and     nonsexual touching to your partner.

OPTIMISM AND POSITIVITY. Focus on what is good in your relationship and not what is bad. Is the glass of water half empty or half     full? It all depends on your     perception. Focus on the victories and express gratitude for what you have. The negative element can always be found     if you look for them, and one little negative thought can destroy a     perfectly beautiful moment, a day or even a life. So it is of the highest importance in     making a marriage work that positivity and optimism be cultivated     continually and unceasingly.

PROGRESS CHECKS. Make regular progress checks of your relationship growth with your     partner. You don’t want to do this     too much, however, or it would be like planting a seed and continually     digging it up to see if it is growing. On the other hand, a lack of introspection and examination can allow     weeds to grow that could become vines which might strangle the relationship.     

ADVICE. Be careful     how much advice you give your partner. In some marriages, this can be more     of a sensitive point than in others. Certainly, give advice only if it is     appropriate and if your partner is open to receiving it. You are not your     partner’s therapist or formal teacher; you are an equal partner.

LOGIC AND EMOTION. Both people in a relationship need to learn to balance and integrate     logic and emotion. This might be     stated as balancing the head and the heart. Usually, one partner leans more in one direction than the     other. There must be appreciation     for the other person’s perspective. When people see primarily through different aspects of their being,     this can create a rocky relationship if this is not understood and     respected. In the ideal state, both     individuals work to integrate themselves.

HOLDING A GRUDGE. Never punish each other. This is childish behavior, like holding a     grudge. The lesson is to communicate what is bothering you or let go of it     inwardly. Either communicate or attitudinally heal it, but don’t stay in     the middle and hold a grudge. 

PAGE 5

CALLING TIME OUT. Call time-out if the conversation you are having becomes too     uncomfortable and unproductive. This     can be very useful in providing time for both of you to become calmer and     more centered. Maybe a twenty-minute break can be taken to allow for     personal processing. 

CLEANLINESS AND ORDER. Often one partner is neater than the other in terms of the home     environment. The careless one clearly needs to be more responsible, and the     neater person needs to relax and give a little so that the issue does not gnaw     at their inner peace. It must also     be understood that there is such a thing as inner cleanliness within one’s     mind, emotions, and spirit.

Ideally, all levels should be kept clean and in order.     Communication is needed in this area as to what is expected by both parties     and what chores need to be done. Lists should be made so there are no misunderstandings. Once lists     and agreements are made, each person needs to stick to his/her commitment     as an aspect of integrity. On the     whole, if people know what is expected and it is made simple and clear, a     habit can be formed that facilitates getting things done.

SHARING DREAMS. A     lovely practice to cultivate is sharing dreams every morning. Dreams     obviously reflect our inner realities, and this can be a very fruitful way     of connecting, creating intimacy and learning to blend inner and outer     realities together.

RELATIONSHIP APPOINTMENTS. Make relationship appointments when     unresolved issues come up. Knowing that relationship appointments will be     made when things aren’t going well helps to keep both partners on their     toes. Making a relationship work is     both an art and a science. It     doesn’t just happen; it must be constantly worked on.

This is the same when you develop a right relationship to     yourself. It doesn’t just happen; it     is something you develop over time and constantly monitor. Continual     adjustments must be made to maintain equilibrium and balance. There is a center point or tao that one     ideally strives to maintain- a state of balance, inner peace, joy,     unconditional love and oneness. When     imbalance sets in on any level, be it within oneself, one’s relationship to     God, or one’s family or career, adjustments must be made to bring things     back into the tao-back into harmony and balance.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART  6: PAGE 2 & 3 

PART 6:  PAGE 2

FACTORS IN RELATIONSHIPS CONT. PT. 3 

The fourth aspect to look at is the energetic or etheric     aspect. 

Is there chemistry? Yes [ ] No [ ]

Is there electricity? Yes [ ] No [ ]

When you come together, is there an increase in energy     and vital force? Yes [ ] No [ ]

Do your batteries get charged up when you spend time     together [ ] or do they get depleted [ ]?

The fifth factor is the physical level. One aspect of this is physical     looks. Is there an attraction?     Yes[ ] No [ ]

However, it is important to understand that one’s     perception can change. For example, you may not initially feel a high     degree of physical attraction. After you spend time, feel his/her energy     and spirit and share in a mutual exchange of feelings and thoughts, you     might become physically attracted to him or her.

We don’t just see with our eyes, we also see with our     minds and all our chakras. 

So the physical level cannot be separated from the other     aspects of a relationship, for our perceptions of a person’s beauty shift     as we get to know that person on a deeper level.

The sixth aspect     to consider is the material one. This relates to the amount of money the     person has and the type of job or if he or she has a job. 

It also related to how functional a person is in the     day-to-day practical skills of living on Earth. The material level may be the least     important level to you, wanting true love rather than money.

But the material     level should not be discounted as totally unimportant. Love may not always be enough to make a relationship     work. Love is wonderful and     essential, but you also need money to buy food. there are practical aspects of life must     be considered, or life can become extremely stressful and unpleasant.

One’s bonding with another can be looked at through these     different lenses and bonding patterns. People will differ as to the degree of importance they place on the     various aspects, and this I is fine.

PART 6: PAGE 3

DELIGHTFUL SURPRISES. Do nice, unexpected things, such as bringing flowers or buying a     gift for no reason. Take your spouse on a special unexpected date. Cook     dinner when it is unexpected. Create a romantic dinner with candles and all     the rest as a surprise. Doing these     things from the heart goes a long way toward nurturing a relationship.

ATTRACTIVENESS. Look nice for your partner. This may have to do with having good     habits of personal hygiene, being clean, putting on nice clothes     occasionally. At times it might mean wearing more sexy clothes, especially     when planning a sexual liaison. We sometimes fall into bad habits in this     regards, and this is something for us all to be conscious of. 

PLANNING ROMANTIC TIME. This is the issue if whether sexual involvement should be planned in     advance. With the busy lives we all     have, sometimes we almost have to create time. This is not say that when the moment     arrives, if either party is not in the mood, there is any obligation. What is important to understand, though,     is that one can help oneself to be in the mood by proper preparation. For     example, maybe taking a hot bath and getting all dressed up, putting on     music and lighting candles might help enhance one’s mood. Perhaps a back rub and massage, incense     or aromatherapy will create the mood. Planning romantic time can be very nice. It is also nice, however,     to be spontaneous.

NOTING YOUR BIORHYTHMS. Be aware of each partner’s     biorhythms. This deals with such things as one’s sleep habits and whether     one is a morning or a night person.  This applies to timing your communication     and sexual encounters. Some people like to get sexually involved before     bed, others in the morning, and still others in the middle of the night.     Communicate about this and see if your biorhythms are on the same     wavelength as your partner’s.  Some     adjustments must be made if the partner’s biorhythms are different. Flexibility is the key here. 

AFFECTIONATE GREEINGS. The simple habit of regularly kissing your partner hello and     good-bye might sound like a little thing, but it is the little things that     often build positive relationships and facilitate the continued flow of     love energy. You will want to     explore and develop other habits and structures that help keep the flow of     love, passion and connection going as well.

RESOLVING DISCONNECTION. When you feel disconnected from your partner, there are two     approaches.

BOOK: ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER DAVID STONE, PHD. & REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER.

RESOURCE: ACIM DISCOURSE BOOKLET GOLDEN KEYS TO EFFECTIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. PARTS 1-9 (SERIES).

PART 7: INTRODUCTION & PAGE 1 

PART 7: INTRODUCTION

ASCENSION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS BY ASCENDED MASTER     JOSHUA DAVID STONE, PH.D., REV. JANA SHELLEY PARKER

OUTSIDE INTERESTS. Don’t make your partner the whole focus of your life. “ There is a     book titled, Women Who Love Too Much.” Focusing so completely on your     partner is not so much loving too much as being too attached and     codependent. It happens when you     make your partner the whole focus of your life. Your relationship to your     partner becomes idol worship. Anything you put before God is an idol. When you neglect your relationship to     yourself and God, things become very unbalanced because your mature relationship     too yourself and God is the foundation on which all healthy relationships     are built. 

USING ANGER TO     CONTROL. Don’t use anger as a     manipulative tool to control your partner. This happens when a person gets     angry and loses control, then lashes out to assert control over another. If your partner starts getting angry in     this way, stop the conversation and tell him or her that if she is not     willing to speak in a loving and respectful manner, you are not willing to     communicate with him or her. Also     affirm to yourself that you will not be intimidated by such tactics. Of course if the situation appears to be     getting out of hand, remove yourself from it. If this is characteristic of your     relationship, seek outside counseling for this serious problem.

EXPRESS LOVE VERBALLY. Be willing to express your love at all times. Say the words, “ I     love you,” as often as you feel     inspired to do so. Many problems in     a relationship stem from one partner nor feeling loved. Expression of love     and affection nurture and strengthen a relationship and build positive     feelings and harmony.

YOUR OTHER ASPECTS IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY. This golden key has to do with sexuality.     Too often couples are too much in their feeling body around sexuality. In other words, the emotional body     guides whether sexual involvement can take place. The emotional body is     certainly the most important body involved in this process, but it is not     the only factor to be considered. Let’s say that you have not had sex for a while and your husband/partner     has not been getting his needs met. His needs should be taken into consideration ( depending on the     circumstances at the particular time) as well as yours.

In any given moment where the potential for sexual     involvement is present, you may be able to go either way. You need to     understand that it should  

PART 7: PAGE 1

YOUR OTHER ASPECTS IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY     CONT. PT. 2

not be just your own feelings that determine this. Your will can be exercised to help     yourself get in the mood. Once the decision is made to have sexual     involvement, put your will behind it and make it mutually satisfying. If you choose to have sex, make it great     sex or don’t have it at all.

Too many couples are indecisive and don’t stand behind     their decision to have sex with their physical, etheric, emotional, mental     and spiritual bodies. Be decisive     and make it work. Sometimes you might choose to have sex out of     consideration for your spouse, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with     this. Other times you might choose     to be spiritually selfish, and there is nothing wrong with that, either.     And still other times you might do just what you feel like doing. If you wait to be in the mood to have     sex, you can end up waiting for months for the right moment.

LETTING DOWN YOUR WORK/SOCIAL PERSONA. Every person needs to let down a little     after a long day at work or after obligatory socializing. But it is     important not to let down with your spouse/partner to the point of allowing     your lower self and negative ego to wrong you. For example, one person might be     wonderful at work and a social butterfly at the party you just went to, but     the minute he or she get home he or she gets into a bad mood. This is unacceptable behavior and is     nothing more than laziness and self-indulgence.

Couples often have problems because they allow themselves     to let down too much. As long as     they are forced by outside structures to be centered, they are. When they get home no one is forcing them     to be kind and pleasant, they aren’t. This is nothing more than     psychological and spiritual laziness.  Ideally you should treat your     spouse/partner like you would a guest visiting from out of town. We lose     our excitement and passion in our relationships if we become lazy in terms     of our relationship habits. This takes energy, but who said God-realization     was easy? The fact is that this kind of demonstration will become a     positive habit after practicing it for twenty-one days, and it won’t take     much energy after that.

OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIPS. Every couple has relationships     with extended family and friends. There can be friction in these     relationships with parents and in-laws, and one simple remedy is to not to     insist that your partner/spouse join you for family visits. In some family systems it is 

YOUR OTHER ASPECTS IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY     CONT. PT. 2

not be just your own feelings that determine this. Your will can be exercised to help     yourself get in the mood. Once the decision is made to have sexual     involvement, put your will behind it and make it mutually satisfying. If you choose to have sex, make it great     sex or don’t have it at all.

Too many couples are indecisive and don’t stand behind     their decision to have sex with their physical, etheric, emotional, mental     and spiritual bodies. Be decisive     and make it work. Sometimes you might choose to have sex out of     consideration for your spouse, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with     this. Other times you might choose     to be spiritually selfish, and there is nothing wrong with that, either.     And still other times you might do just what you feel like doing. If you wait to be in the mood to have     sex, you can end up waiting for months for the right moment.

LETTING DOWN YOUR WORK/SOCIAL PERSONA. Every person needs to let down a little     after a long day at work or after obligatory socializing. But it is     important not to let down with your spouse/partner to the point of allowing     your lower self and negative ego to wrong you. For example, one person might be     wonderful at work and a social butterfly at the party you just went to, but     the minute he or she get home he or she gets into a bad mood. This is unacceptable behavior and is     nothing more than laziness and self-indulgence.

Couples often have problems because they allow themselves     to let down too much. As long as     they are forced by outside structures to be centered, they are. When they get home no one is forcing them     to be kind and pleasant, they aren’t. This is nothing more than     psychological and spiritual laziness.  Ideally you should treat your     spouse/partner like you would a guest visiting from out of town. We lose     our excitement and passion in our relationships if we become lazy in terms     of our relationship habits. This takes energy, but who said God-realization     was easy? The fact is that this kind of demonstration will become a     positive habit after practicing it for twenty-one days, and it won’t take     much energy after that.

OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIPS. Every couple has relationships     with extended family and friends. There can be friction in these     relationships with parents and in-laws, and one simple remedy is to not to     insist that your partner/spouse join you for family visits. In some family systems it is